is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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