I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
