Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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