He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
