Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Randomize
