Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
