Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Sober January is a disaster.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize