dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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