windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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