YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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