I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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