he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You brought string cheese to the strip club
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
