Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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