Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
