You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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