So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
