If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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