I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
