tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
