I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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