Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Be still, my beating vagina.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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