Just fell off a train. Bad.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I think your dad took our porno
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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