I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
