Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
