I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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