If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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