Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
