i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
