i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
My feet surprised me
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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