great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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