i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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