My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
