I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i dont even know how to be here
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
