Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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