6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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