epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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