oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
