YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
