I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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