It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
