she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
We were destined to go to rehab together
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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