...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
