i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
My hand turned me down
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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