I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
