Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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