I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
