If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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