how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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