Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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