Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Please don't give away my fajitas
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