That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
