Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
