I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
