Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
