I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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