last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Randomize
