It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
