Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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