but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
