I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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