nutella sex= disaster
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
