It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
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Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
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I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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