Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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